Passion or Addiction?
Only recently started my counselling and psychotherapy practice, in my own office (Clinic); I decorated the office with prudently handpicked pieces. And no wonder that whoever steps in feels relaxed. I feel my clinic should make people feel soothing and warm. And yes!! That is what I have heard from everyone who walked into my place.
I love what I do and I try and do what I love!!
This practice is the very first step towards my dream career. The way my work is progressing has given me a lot of confidence. It motivates me to work harder and harder. Being my own boss gives me an opportunity to be more creative and to experiment with my skill sets.This helps me bring in new flavors to the old traditional Psychotherapies.
My clients love this fusion. When they experience the progress, I feel it. Eventually their progress is my progress.
There are many advantages of being your own boss. Honestly speaking, I work when I want, where I want and how I want. I don’t need to justify how I spend my time to anyone but myself. I strongly feel that working for own self is a blessing for every mother like me. That’s all the good news and the brighter side of it. The bad news is – perhaps because of this – I hauled my laptop and Mobile phone everywhere I went ; I wrote plans, I made lists, wrote reports and proposals and took business calls and managed my appointments with clients (Thanks heaven to online software, I do not have to worry about my appointments now.)
I use to take my work to bed. I found it hard to disengage on holidays; when I was away from work I was fretting of not getting stuff done,”I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about some idea and sneaked out of the bed to fire off my thoughts because I could not handle them anymore, I woke up most of the mornings at 4:30 am thinking it’s nice “me time”, to research or read. But “me time” again was work.
Just going back and observing my own behaviors made me think “Am I Passionate or Addicted to my work”? “Am I deceiving myself and calling it passion but in the reality it is the addiction or Workoholism ”Preoccupation of thoughts and ideas is not letting me “be” Be here and now. I read somewhere not long ago that “Passion is enlightenment”, so what would we call this preoccupation of thoughts or my addiction?
“Black hole” that sucks up all your “family time”, “social time”, “me time” into work time.
It is really easy to slip from passion to addiction. I cannot remember when I crossed this thin line. When I thought of workoholism and why Workoholism, with little exploration I came up with a reason. That is , we place high value on achievements, productivity, motivation, hard work , efficiency, creativity, innovations, being competent, very important one to mention here “Getting things done” or “Ticking items off the list” however what we are mostly neglecting is “to be” And not by staying connected with “ to be”
Do the creativity, productivity and other values mentioned before need to be so high. Who sets these parameters? Why do I have to work harder and harder, more and more to make up to these values? Was I being too harsh to myself?
I gave a thought to it!!
And trying to save myself getting sucked up into “black hole”
I have planned my strategies! And I know that “me time” for me is not reading or research.
Do you ever think about this “to be “or “being”?
I guess we need to learn to value ourselves as a human being, regardless of whether we are working or not, regardless of what we do for work, regardless of what position, title we have, and regardless of whether we work for ourselves or for somebody else.